Home » Wednesday Writings – Closet Tory

Wednesday Writings – Closet Tory

I am a Closet Tory, And I slink around at night, Disguised as Independent, But I’m really to the right….

“Closet Tory” by Anonymous

I am a Closet Tory,
And I slink around at night,
Disguised as Independent,
But I`m really to the right.

I sit in Council meetings,
Where for Tory cuts I vote,
With my card securely hidden,
I sail the Tory boat.

I drink wine at Tory parties,
And Merlot in the pub,
“Not fit to be a Councillor”
And Mayor Making to snub.

I report the Council doings,
To my bosses at HQ,
All the while I`m masquerading,
But I`m Tory through and through.

If I`m outed to the public,
This will end my furtive lot,
Cause I`m co-opted by my mates,
And its` all a Tory plot!

Our anonymous and witty poet, referring to topical local issues, says that this piece was: “Written during some ‘little local difficulty’ on Hedon Town Council – Jan 2014”

8 thoughts on “Wednesday Writings – Closet Tory

  1. Sorry Ray but I don’t agree with the practice of allowing some anonymous poster and you remind others to use their full names and yet still allow people to use initials.
    This applies to articles regardless how good and entertaining they may be in some people’s eyes, It’s simple really, If you can’t put your full name to the article then in my opinion it’s not worth the paper or in this case Blog Space it’s written on.
    Regards Jim Uney..

  2. Jason I am glad you enjoy my posts, my intension is to make residents aware of what has happened and hope that some come forward to stand at the election next year in May to replace some councillors. As I have found my Oxford dictionary, would you prefer, cause aversion, displease, offend, sicken, abhorrence, distaste, repugnant, revulsion, ect.
    regards Jim

  3. Who might Anonymous be, “I sit in council meetings” so it appears to be a councillor
    “I drink wine at tory parties and merlot in the pub” a lady identified two councillors who were in the pub drinking merlot before the public meeting. That identifies two councillors.
    “Mayor making to snub”, that was four councillors.
    “cause I’m co-opted by my mates” that identifies one councillor.
    There is only one councillor who writes poetry, it may be who I and others think it is, it may not.
    With all that has happened and the problems and upset this has cause my wife and I, we find the “written during some little local difficulty on Hedon Town Council” should be a concern to residents and not be taken lightly.
    A Hedon Town councillor contacted us yesterday and said he thinks the poem is inappropriate.
    “if I’m outed to the public this will end my furtive lot” the Oxford thesaurus says Furtive- clandestine, covert, skulking, underhand,…., make of that what you will.

  4. We think this is disgusting, this matter has caused so much distress to both my wife and I and also Ann Suggit and still does. We thought that no one was allowed to post anonymously. The only person we know who writes poetry is the co-opted deputy mayor, so whoever it is have the courage to identify yourself. We find the third verse offensive.
    If this is a councillor then they should be taking their role as a councillor more seriously and spending their time on trying to repair the damage they have caused themselves, instead of wasting their efforts on childish rhymes.

    1. I think the poem can be interpreted in different ways depending on your point of view – is it anti-“Tory”, or pro-“Tory” ? Is it pro-Hedon Town Council? Or is it critical of the council and councillors?

      Or is it just an observation on some of the recent events that have been going on recently?

      Poets often give voices to current events and will criticise and/or defend the social and political issues of the day. Cartoonists do the same in lots of newspapers.

      This has been included in Wednesday Writings because its a great poem – the fact it evokes an emotional response is testament to that. Its not meant to be a prompt for the continuation of any disputes existing in the town and offence was not intended in publishing this.

      I granted anonymity because issues outside of the author’s control warranted it.

    2. Whilst I thoroughly enjoy reading the ex-mayors posts I cant help but find his prose a little repetitive. I think it is disgusting as Jim mentions in the vast majority of his posts. Having said that nice poem anonymous, it does sum up the situation with a perfect blend of wit and insight.

    3. Freedom. Of. Speech. A right I’m sure you are aware that us british citizens are entitled to. Politics is a harsh world. Look at the government with massive arguments going on almost daily. I personally am happy this poem is here, the hedon blog provides an interesting read with local news and this really is local news. Sure, there was a bit of drama, but resignations were done and the new councillors are voted in. Back to normal.

      Creative writing is a great way to express feelings and portray events in a nice manner. It wasn’t aimed at anybody, it was simply reflecting local events in quite a nice way. I really like it.

      Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it is “disgusting” and should be taken down. What happened has happened with the council, lets just move on!

      Thanks for posting this, Ray. I’m happy that you’re providing everybody with an opportunity to voice concerns or opinions. Its really awesome! 🙂

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